November 8

 Impressive how bad I could be at this. I didn't even last a week of writing here every day. In slightly better news, I did actually write every day. Just not creatively.

In other better news, Donald Trump is no longer president. The fact that he was at all and that all of that just actually happened?! The fact it was 4 years and he lost by a very narrow margin!?!

Joe Biden, a semi-senile old white politician who hugs little girls too long is now president. His vice president is an Indian-Black woman. That part is neat. Anybody could have rep[laced Donald Trump and things would at least turn back to tolerable.

The noise of the last 4 years has been insurmountable. All we can hope is that it at least shed light on issues that need attention?!1?!/ 

I'm not sure if much will come from it. It is America after all. Half of the population likes it better the other way. 

Racism is a silly and pointless thing. A measure of ego. 

How much time we've wasted on destruction.  All to find "peace". Something that was there all along. 

The twists and turns the ups and downs the all-around of these neurons. Journeying far from the boring reality and diving straight into that dopamine rush that is a supportive dialogue. A dialogue that ignores things that cause you discomfort. Spits on them even. A dialogue that makes it ok to feel superior for no good reason other than you don't want to try to be any other way. 

a silly thing. 

Everyone needs therapy. There's no denying that. Everyone probably needs a constant therapist. At least a brain trained enough to create an inner therapist. 

the general feeling since trump lost? Relief. Like a loosened belt buckle after a heavy thanksgiving feast. Like chugging three beers and letting out a gratifying gigantic burp. Sitting on the toilet after a long car ride holding your piss. You get it. 

I am happy for my neighbors. Happy for my news feed. happy for the earth. Happy for progress and happy for democracy.

Order is pretty well restored.

In other news, Leon and I have been riding the emotional high of north America right now and did a bunch of shopping this weekend. I bought an epic jean jacket. It's black and sherpa lined. I'm pretty stoked. 

Aex Trebek died today. That's a sad thing. Grateful for his legacy. 

I've been listening to more new music lately. As I continue to embrace my creative time and carve alone time I want to reopen those pieces. 

Music extracts a lot. 

A reminder to honor where I am at. What I have. Where I am going. 

I don't need to take any easy path because I'd be selling myself short. hard work is it. It takes hard work. Then it takes good work. And it gets better and better. 

With obvious moments or turmoil and torment peppered throughout. Because that is creativity. It is one of the key fertilizers. Even the micro battles are often dramatized. It's the appealing part of choosing a career where you get to live inside your mind. If nothing else, you are very entertained. Very busy.

It's sometimes hard to make time to muster up gratitude when you are in the throws of a valid complaint. 

It'sd a refreshing procedure. kind of like having your teeth cleaned or completing a good work-out. A bit of gratitude starts hard. There's resistance. "Do I have to today?" ugh. 

"Ok I'll do it but I'm not putting that much effort into it"

"Ok I'm here I may as well put in enough effort to make it worth it"

"Ok, maybe I really am grateful"

"ok, wow, I am blessed beyond compare and life is heavenly"

Habits are funny things. We thrash and we cry and we fight with ourselves about doing the very things we promised ourselves we'd do because we'd be making our own lives better. Yet, still. We resist. 

Because comfort.