November 21, 2020

Many days have passed since I've dropped in. Covid numbers are spiking again. This creates a general anxiety in the air. Something about the air itself not being safe to breathe is inherently unsettling. Invisible little enemies dancing about in our good clean oxygen. 

There is a mild spike happening even here in the "atrlantic bubble". I had been feeling fairly safe from it all but our own safe haven is now developing a little outbreak. We booked flights home for Christmas. I have a gut feeling we won't make it. I have a gut feeling things will keep getting worse and we'll be stuck here. 

It's not the worst thing on earth, just a bummer.

I have a nephew that's 1 year and 2 months old whom I have never met. We got stuck in Serbia for 8 months. We had two quarantines. Now finally, our chance to go meet the little baby boy and BAM outbreak. His name is Elliot and he seems incredible. I am so proud of my brother and his family. 

Is this a second wave? Third wave?

I don't even know anymore.

The news has finally shifted from constant trump to other things. It was unrelenting doom despair and dismal outlooks for so long. Did anything good come from it? I don't think so. Feeding egos and hateful elements of people's souls don't usually turn things around for the better. 

He did allow the world to see America. The same America I left because it was too racist to work in. Anyone that's existed among the people and infrastructure with fresh or untainted eyes can see. The country is built upon egos, and money, and white supremacy. 

I hope there are some positive shifts. The pandemic has changed some things. More people get to work from home. More people buy locally. More people buy online. Amazon is flourishing. People are learning to live without travel. People are exploring what is around them. There's beauty in that. 

The trip Leon and I took across the country in our Bessie certainly changed our lives. Apart from the personal triumphs, the constant stream of breathtaking moments, in nature, IN OUR OWN COUNTRY was enough to make your skull spin off your spine. Canada will never be the same for me now. Now that I've crossed her prairies and grasslands and badlands and rocky mountains. Now that I've gone coast to coast and star gazed the blackest nights and watched the sun pop up over plateaus and plains and gigantic lakes that look like the sea. I am entirely in love with living here. Her beauty isn't fully lost on me! anymore. 

I grew up in an impossibly beautiful place. Growing up in a place desensitizes your eyes and soul. You need to leave and come back with new life to truly appreciate it. Life is funny like that.